Looking Forward to 2022: The Year of The Fire Tiger
Why I Will Probably Film a Video Part this Year.
My partner’s mother is Thai. She’s a connoisseur of everything and speaks multiple languages. As far as I know, she is an expert in the Chinese Zoodiac.
The first time I met her was in a casino. We were both reserved at first, but we got to know each other through our mutual love for slot machines and finding luck in all the wrong places.
Her luck, of course, is slightly more based than mine.
Full disclosure, I’m not a believer in the stars, horoscope, or zodiac. However, I'm willing to listen when money or skateboard tricks are on the line. I’ll believe in anything like Wolf Parade at that point.
My partner's mom asked me what year I was born?
“1986,” I said.
“Fire Tiger!” she said without skipping a bet.
She encouraged me to play slots featuring tigers. Very cool.
She recommended my lucky numbers were one, three, and four. Unlucky numbers included six, seven, and eight. I should avoid hitting “BET MAX” on totals ending in unlucky numbers and go for it on the lucky ones.
In her explanation, the combinations of these numbers were also good/bad luck. As skateboarders, 43 is our lucky number. So everything seemed to be adding up in my favor.
For strategy, I added up the sum of 2022. 2+0+2+2 = 6. Shit, bad luck. But reversing and dividing it seemed to work out. 6 - 2 = 4 and 6/2 = 3. Put it together, 4 and 3 ≈ 43. I couldn’t tell you how PEMDAS (or BEDMAS/BODMAS, for the Canadian, NZ, and Aussie homies) works, but I recall passing math class simply by “showing my work.”
By the equation above and the alignment of the stars, 2022 is my year.
It’s been a few years since this I found out I was a Tiger (a fire one at that), and I’d like to say I’ve been patiently waiting for MY YEAR to come. However, upon looking up Tiger personalities, reality sets in thanks to expert explanation:
“[Tigers] will not make preparations for anything but can handle anything that comes along.”
Starting February 1, 2022, The Year of The Tiger begins, and I’ll start my hunt for clips probably around mid-March with nothing more than a day bag loaded with a wax chip and a beer koozie.
For optimized luck, the chart says to wear red. My body type doesn’t do red. However, for good luck in business, the chart recommends brown. I’m Al Brown, so once I throw on the Habitat kit the tricks should do themselves.
The night I discovered my new gambling strategy wasn’t great, monetarily speaking. I came up a little here and mostly down over there, but it was about having fun and making friends.
Gambling or skateboarding is rarely about winning. It’s about the fun you have along the way. It’s about what could have been and the ones that got away. In addition to the occasional free t-shirt, it’s the silly lessons learned and small victories that carry you over into the next session or slot machine.
According to their projections, wealth is not something I need to concern myself with this year, so I’m putting all my chips into the 43. Maybe instead of filming a part, I’ll use the newsletter to describe the handful of noseslides I did that week. The point is to be a little more active and creative in 2022.
“Tigers work actively and express themselves boldly, doing things in a high-handed manner. They are authoritative and never go back on what they have said.”
Guess we’ll find out.
Sorry to the non-Fire Tigers out there. According to the experts, it’s our year to be “Optimistic and independent, with poor self-control.” And sorry, Dilo, but Fire Tiger’s going to blow Red Tiger out of the jungle.
If you were born between February 9, 1986, and January 28, 1987, you might be entitled to Fire Tiger compensation in 2022. Maybe avoid putting money into crypto tho.